Last week our whole family got sick…welcome to Boston in the fall. Weather changes, foliage changes and falls, and with it comes beauty but also sickness, congestion and cold weather. We spent most of the week hunkered down in our apartment, eating ramen, binging Bon Appetit, being cared for by amazing friends and resting. By the end of the week the boys were a little stir crazy.

So on Saturday when Finley (our oldest) asked if we could go play tennis, I happily obliged. The boys loaded up on their scooters, I grabbed the racquets, a couple of balls and off we went to play tennis. Though, to be honest, to say we were “playing tennis” is the most generous way of talking about what we did. It really was just a practice in me lightly hitting a ball over the net to one of my boys and them swinging at the ball like Mark Mcgwire in the HR race of 1998 (though with less performance enhancement drugs). We spent more time chasing down the “grand slams” as Finley called them, than we did actually playing tennis. Eventually I got tired of chasing down stray balls so I called Finley over to my side of the net and said, “let me teach you how to play tennis”. I explained how you can’t just swing erratically but need to time your swing and even aim where you are hitting it. I talked about swinging too early or swinging too late. I showed him the white lines that mean “in” or “out”. I showed him how to hold the racquet and how to stand, but as I talked I slowly saw a glaze go over his eyes as he stared in to the distance.

Have you ever had one of these moments? You are deep in conversation with someone only to realize pretty quickly they are no longer part of the conversation?

I finally finished my pro-level lesson on how to hit a tennis ball and said, “Finley, were you listening?” and he slowly turned toward me and said, “Daddy, I was trying, but you were saying a lot of words, so I started watching those big kids play basketball, could we do that instead?”

At least he was honest, right? Kids will simply tell you they stopped listening, but as adults we aren’t as honest are we?

It’s estimated, on average, humans speak at a rate of 125-150 words per minute, but our brains can process up to 500 words per minute which means we have a lot of extra space in our brains during a conversation where we think we can process way more. I think I can review my grocery list, watch a youtube video, and pay attention to my mom on the phone at the same time.

We’ve all been in the conversation where halfway through we realize we’ve simply been nodding and verbalizing “uh-huh’s” but actually have no idea what the other person is saying and now there is an awkward silence and we are praying to God they didn’t ask an important question and we can just nod and move on.

Sometimes, when it comes to really listening to the people around us, our problem isn’t that we aren’t hearing. Maybe our problem is we just aren’t paying enough attention to actually listen.

Over the last few weeks at the church I pastor we’ve been challenging our community to become more intentional is finding ways to bless their neighbors. We encouraged everyone to pray this simple prayer everyday,

“God, who do you want me to bless today?”

The words of the prayer aren’t eloquent and ultimately aren’t the important part. The important part is the posture and the heart behind the prayer. It’s a moment each day, each morning, to change our posture and perspective. To shift from looking simply at our own life and day, to being attuned to what God is up to in our world and lives and having eyes to see the needs/pains/dreams/joys/sorrows of those around us.

I’ve been praying this prayer each morning on my T ride into work. I’ll be honest, the T is a miserable place at 8am. It’s a bunch of people on their cell-phones trying desperately to forget that they are standing shoulder to shoulder with strangers and wishing they were still sleeping in their warm bed. I found myself in that mindset this morning.

The green line was packed, it was a rainy morning, and I got stuck between stations with delays for over 20 mins. I got off the train, headed out of the station, put my headphones on, my hood up and just wanted to get to my office (completely forgetting or ignoring the prayer I had said moments earlier) And then…

…I met Willie. As I was walking, a man walked up next to me and then stepped in front of me and blocked my path. I politely said excuse me and tried to go around him, but he stepped in front of me again and then grabbed my arm. I took my headphones off and said, “I’m sorry, you are in my way.” To which he gleefully replied, “I know. I did it on purpose. I need to talk to you.”

Admittedly I was taken aback and wasn’t sure how to proceed, but then in my gut I felt a nudge, a whisper: Sit down with this guy and LISTEN. So I asked if we could get out of the rain. We walked into the CVS across the street. He told me how he was a veteran who had lost his hand in combat and was only in the city for veteran services and job interviews. He struggled with mental health and PTSD and had a hard time finding a job because of his disability. I barely said a word, I simply listened. After a few minutes of talking (all of which was incredibly awkward and very close, he’s a very close talker) he paused and said, “I guess I’m just tired”. I smiled and said, “Welcome to Boston, we’re all tired. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” I bought him a coffee and a snack and was prepared to go about my day but then again felt a nudge: Ask him what he most needs/wants from you..

I turned back to him, he was about 10 ft from me at this point, and asked, “Willie, I don’t know why but I get the feeling coffee isn’t what you really needed this morning…is there anything you need from me?” He sprinted back towards me and exclaimed, “I NEED $12 FOR THE COMMUTER RAIL”.

This is where it got weird for me. See, I never carry cash. I hate it. I’m a true millennial in this way. Cash is like fake money for me. If I don’t see it leave my bank account, it’s like it never existed. So I never carry cash. But this morning I noticed some cash on my bedside table. I’m not sure where it came from or how it ended up on my table, but I randomly threw it in my pocket as I walked out of the house. As Willie was running towards me yelling about needing 12 dollars it struck me – the money that was on my bedside table this morning was a ten and 2 ones. I, a guy who never carries cash, randomly had 12 dollars in cash in my pocket and Willie needed exactly 12 dollars. Now, I’m not in the habit of giving cash to homeless people (mostly bc I don’t carry it) but also because I usually try to take them to a place to buy food or a drink instead of simply handing out cash, but this time was different. Call it coincidence, call it fate, call it God, you can call it whatever you want, but I felt prompted to ask Willie what he most needed and then had exactly what he needed, so I gave him the cash. I asked if I could pray for him before he left and he obliged. We chatted for a few more minutes and then as he started to leave he said, “Thanks for listening. No one ever does that anymore.”

Here’s the thing, I’m not sure if I was an answer to Willie’s prayers or if Willie was an answer to my prayers, but I do know this: If, in the midst of our busy days and rainy mornings we are willing to pause and listen (to others and to the voice of God) we will be profoundly changed…and the world may slowly be changed too, one act of blessing at a time, one conversation at a time, one person at time.

Who can you BLESS this week?